PepsiCo’s Indra Nooyi says she is old fashioned

Management Lessons….

Lesson Number One

A
crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A
small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also
sit like you and do nothing all day long?”

The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and
rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the
rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A
turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be
able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the
turkey, “but haven’t got the energy.”

“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?”
replied the bull. “They’re packed with Nutrients.” The
turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the first
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some
more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after
a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top
of the Tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,
who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top,
but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

W
hen the body was first made, all the parts wanted to
be Boss.

The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control
the whole body’s responses and functions.”

The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the
brain about and get him to where he wants to go.”

The hands said, We should be the Boss because we do
all the work and earn all the money.”

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and
the eyes until finally the asshole poke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being
the Boss.

So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and
refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became
crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the
heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be
the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other
parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don’t need brains to be a boss
- any asshole will do.

Lesson Number Four

A
little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so
cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large
field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and
dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there
in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm
it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for
joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under
the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate
him!

Management Lesson: Not everyone who drops shit on you
is your enemy. Not everyone who gets you out of shit
is your friend. And when you’re in deep shit, keep
your mouth shut!